Can you Stop Self Sabotaging Behaviour

The Bad new about Negative Belief Patterns

Copyright John Nutting

Here are some other horrible truths about negative core beliefs

1. The less proof or evidence there is to back up an old core belief the more fixed it becomes.
   
   
2. The older the belief the harder it is to question it even when it is clearly wrong
   
   
3. It is a total waste your time looking for logical proof or evidence that "might" help change a negative core belief. It won't help, it may make it worse.
   
   
4. Trying to get others to help you change your negative core beliefs is a waste your time and theirs. The more they try to help you the stronger the belief gets.

This is strange. Why would this be so?

How can I understand something I'm not even aware of and something that doesn't make sense?

Right from the start I need to admit that understanding core beliefs is not easy. If dealing with the amazing problems that our core beliefs cause us was at all straightforward, people wouldn't be troubled by them the way that they are.

There is one particular issue that stands above all others and it needs to be accepted before you can begin to start work fixing your core belief problems. This issue is about what it takes to create, change or alter things that we believe . There is something very unusual in the difference between what happens with everyday beliefs and core beliefs. Let me try to explain, and even now I am having trouble explaining, so please bear with me.

The more proof, data or evidence we can find to support an everyday belief the easier it is to accept that belief.

 

Most people don't have too much difficulty following a set of rules for living their daily life, or where they work. There is plenty of evidence around to prove the rules are necessary. We can observe that they usually work for you and me and other people around us. Usually there is lots of evidence around to convince you of what would happen if you don't follow those rules. So the rules and our beliefs about those rules stay fairly stable (as they need to do). You would probably say you believed in them.

The more proof, data or evidence you can find to support simple straightforward everyday beliefs the easier it is to question, change or even to reject that kind of belief provided you have new evidence to support the change.

From time to time you will find yourself questioning some everyday rules, the kind you follow in your daily activities, your everyday opinions, your views on daily life. It's not too hard to change what you believe about them as long as you can find some clear proof or evidence to support the change.

Think about a bad rule or one that doesn't work. The more proof or evidence available to show that it's not working the easier it is to stop believing in that rule or, if you have the opportunity, to change that rule. That makes sense when you are dealing with ordinary beliefs. Nothing unusual so far but keep this in mind as we go deeper.

The deeper a belief becomes established in your mind, the harder it is to question or change that belief. Once a belief gets locked in and the longer it stays locked in, the deeper and deeper it goes until it becomes a core belief.

Your core beliefs, like mine, are so deep they cannot be changed by loading up on lots of logical evidence. Now it is the other way round, trying to change a core belief this way usually locks it in ever more securely!

Even when there is clear proof or evidence or data available that should convince you that a core belief is out of date or no longer applicable it is still unbelievably difficult to see this and even harder to make any change.

*The less evidence there is to support a deeply held core belief the more the more rigid it becomes and the more strongly people seem to hold on to it!

* The older the belief the harder it is to question it